July 24, 2014

Only in Guyana

Satiricus was proud of his country. In America, the people believe anyone can grow up to be president. And lo and behold… even though some cynics thought it was just a saying, a little black boy named Hussein, who wasn’t even born in America (says the “birthers”) and grew up in Hawaii, became president.

And gave a wonderful speech at the funeral of Nelson Mandela.

Now in Guyana, even though anyone could also be president, Satiricus had to admit that some needed a whole lotta help. Like Forbes Burnham. It took the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and so many other agencies of the American government to make him become president.

They had to even stifle their strong and virtuous consciences and create riots and suchlike. No wonder Burnham didn’t want to let go of the presidency… it would have seemed ungrateful. The least he could do was rig the elections to show his gratitude.

But now things were changing… even at the second rung of democracy in the country, it looked like people believe anyone can grow up to be mayor… even some who looks like they never even grew up.

Like this fella BenchCak. He still carrying on like he was 10 years old – throwing tantrums when he didn’t get his way. But he running for mayor. Satiricus’ heart swelled at the growth of democracy on his country.

Just like how the Americans didn’t hold the fact that Hussein’s father was born in Africa and some of his relatives might’ve been Mau Maus, no one held the fact against him that he’d once invaded the presidential compound in the company of a mob. And that several members of the mob had been killed.

In fact, our democracy was so strong that when BenchCak was imprisoned for treason… the president of the country had pardoned him! And BenchCak didn’t even have to say “beg pardon”! In the old days, when the British were ruling, it used to be said that only mad dogs and Englishmen went into the sun without a hat. Well, Satiricus felt that BenchCak’s strongest claim to become mayor was he showed he was even braver than the Englishmen – who, he knew, ran the city quite well, you.

BenchCak goes into the sun not only without a hat… but with full suit and tie. Take that, Britishers!!! The only problem, Satiricus feared, was the ordinary folks mightn’t see the virtues of this brave man BenchCak.

They might think he’s just pagli.